People Who Need to Die: Cell Phonies

People Who Need to Die: Cell PhoniesCover Cell Phonies Victor Rook


Oh, the ghoulish minds of my fellow writers! The title People Who Need to Die: Cell Phonies is self-explanatory. In this hilarious short story author Victor Rook imagines (possibly hopes for) a date not too far in the future, when cell phone usage has overtaken the human race and we’re all addicted to our smart-ass phones. All, that is, except for those who aren’t—the other side, those who plot and carry out revenge fantasies against loud annoying talkers and driving texters who kill by car. If you have a strong enough stomach you’ll love Cell Phonies, with its inventive and heretofore unimagined methods Rook concocts for their demise. And if, like me, you inwardly rage on the bus or in doctors’ offices at people yakking so loud you can’t read your book, you’ll be positively thrilled by these revenge fantasies come true. (I once had a verbal fight that nearly came to fisticuffs on the bus with a woman who was broadcasting her travel plans; after reading the same paragraph three or four times, I shouted, “Louder! I didn’t catch the time of your plane!” And we were off. She was no demure lady, either, but a physically intimidating rough tough Oakland gal. I didn’t care: I was furious.) Rook is a good writer, clear and imaginative. And though it’s short, Cell Phonies’ pleasure doesn’t have to end: it’s just one in an ongoing series. Other People Who Need to Die include bad drivers and spammers, with more annoyances promised in the future. As far as I know, reading never killed anyone, so go on and indulge safely in your dark secret fantasies. That’s what writers do for us, and it’s one of the reasons we love to read.

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